PATIO HEATER BLUES

The paved area behind my house is getting really cold,
The cold is eating through and seeping through right into my bones,
This is also true and very true in my favourite pubs and restaurants
I’m getting cold and the paving’s getting cold in all my favourite outdoor haunts.

CHORUS
I need patio heaters
I want patio heaters
Give me patio heaters
Gwan to keep my patio warm

Now I can sit out here in my patio heater’s warm glow
It shines out like a beacon on my warm, warm patio
The moths fly in, the bugs fly in attracted by the light
I’m comfortable on my patio and there are insects frying tonight.

CHORUS

Up comes some beardy weirdy says my heater’s doing harm,
I say, ‘go way you tree hugger, it’s my right to be warm’.
I don’t need no greenwhinging from no eco-fascists no more,
Gonna put a patio and two heaters in my four by four.